


On the Lam

by DessArtem



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Ruby & Sapphire & Emerald | Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Emerald Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Archie and Maxie travel to Sinnoh to keep from being arrested as ecoterrorists, Fake/Pretend Relationship, It's Maxie being in a cold climate, M/M, Slow Burn, Snark, They're basically married but can be read as friendship, hardenshipping - Freeform, of course there's snark, yeah that's basically it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DessArtem/pseuds/DessArtem
Summary: Archie and Maxie travel to Sinnoh so they don't get arrested for ecoterrorism post-Emerald (more ORAS than RSE).  Lots of them being grumpy and snarky, should get more cuddly later if I end up writing more sometime.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LitheFider](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitheFider/gifts).



Archie had never packed a duffel bag this fast in his life.

Granted, he never had to prepare to run away from his base in the dead of night before either. He never could have expected the fruits of the past two years to end up going this badly. Finding Kyogre had been the greatest thrill he’d ever experienced, but all too soon it had soured into the greatest regret of his life. Seeing Kyogre and Groudon fighting and causing so much destruction…

Archie growled and stuffed more pairs of underwear into his duffel. He would have to push down his shame and regret until later so he could focus on getting to safety now. He had already changed into a pair of dark jeans and a dark navy Henley as opposed to his usual wetsuit outfit, and removed his accessories and bright bandana. He hoped his simplified appearance would deter most people from noticing him and recognizing him, at least for the time being; he didn’t have time to change his appearance further.

Soon he was lacing his sneakers, when his pokenav rang. He jumped, but answered it quickly. “What?” he snapped.

“Aren’t you ready yet? I’ve been waiting outside for twenty minutes!” responded the nasally voice.

“How did you get ready that quickly? What did you even pack?” Archie put him on speaker while he finished with his shoes. He then wrapped a dark hoodie around his waist and shouldered his duffel.

“Clothes and supplies, like you said,” Maxie shot back, sounding offended at even the thought of being ordered around. “Was I supposed to magically assume some specific articles you meant for me to have packed?”

Archie just sighed and headed for the exit. “I’m coming out. I hope you covered your hair with something.”

“Yes, yes, I’m not stupid. I’m not especially keen on being arrested.” Maxie hung up, which was just as well as Archie was getting sick of his obnoxious tone. He didn’t blame him for being angry, really, but he didn’t want Maxie treating him like Archie was the only one who had done wrong.

Luckily Maxie didn’t have anything else to say when Archie approached him on the small dock just outside of Aqua base. Archie didn’t have anything to say either. He eyed the rolling suitcase at Maxie’s feet and the way he was dressed. The suitcase was a deep red, as expected. Maxie had traded in his signature jacket for a black trench coat that was obviously too big for the skinny man. He’d left on the red turtleneck, but had at least tucked his signature hair up into a black newsboy hat. Maxie grumpily took off his glasses and tucked them into a breast pocket of the jacket when Archie frowned at him.

“There, is my appearance satisfactory?” he snarked at him as Archie wordlessly stepped up onto the fishing boat. Maxie had even changed into some black slacks. It was certainly a change from head-to-toe red. “Or would you like me to go all the way back to Mount Chimney and change?”

“You’re fine. Now would you be quiet so we can shove off?” Archie replied in a gruff, but not harsh voice. He settled his duffel under one of the benches and then turned to hold out his hand to Maxie.

Maxie opened his snide mouth to retort, but then snapped it shut with a proud huff. He picked up his suitcase and handed it to the larger man, who placed it next to his own bag. Maxie stared as Archie offered his hand again, clearly to help him into the boat, and he hesitated before placing his own paler hand into Archie’s and stepped up. Perhaps he saw the merit in being more cooperative.

The silence persisted as Archie untied the boat from the dock and started up the rumbling motor. He had only the light from the moon to see, but he’d taken this simple little fishing boat out onto the ocean enough times to be able to smoothly steer her away from the base. This he focused on while Maxie took a seat on a bench and wrapped his trench coat around himself, settling into a sulk.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The fuel in the engine would only keep it running for a couple hours, but Archie had a backup canister. He found a small dock and tethered the boat to it, confident it was late enough at night that they wouldn’t be noticed. After killing the engine, he stretched and moved to sit on another bench to take a breather. He pulled a water bottle from a storage container attached to the boat and took a long swig before offering it to his passenger.

Maxie hadn’t moved much since they started, and if Archie didn’t know better he’d assume the other man had fallen asleep where he sat. He was huddled down in the jacket with his knees drawn up best he could. Archie supposed he should’ve offered him a blanket, but it was surprising that Maxie hadn’t complained about the cold at all the past few hours they’d been sailing.

The redhead looked up and accepted the water bottle, giving it a few sips before handing it back. He shifted to try to get comfortable and Archie pulled a wool blanket from the storage container. He wrapped it over Maxie’s shoulders and then got to filling the engine with his spare fuel canister.

Maxie cleared his throat. “How long until we’re in Sinnoh?”

Archie glanced at him to see that he’d pulled the blanket more securely around himself. “Hopefully we have enough gas to make it there. We’ll find out in a few more hours, no more’n four.” He capped the emptied container and stuck it back in its secure spot under a bench. He rinsed off his hands in the frigid ocean water and wiped them off on a rag before pulling out his pokenav to look at the GPS. “I think we’ll be alright. Even if we run outta gas, I can row the last bit.” He put the device away and stretched again, yawning deeply.

Maxie made a noise that suggested he didn’t like the idea of being on the ocean for so long, or them having to row any stretch of distance. Archie would never expect Maxie to do something like row, and he knew Maxie knew this, but he supposed the redhead would react grumpily to most things at this point. Again, he couldn’t blame him, and he was just glad for the company and lack of arguing.

“Are you hungry?” Archie asked, a glance to shore telling him they were indeed safe from being noticed.

The look of sharp exasperation told him that Maxie had far more important things on his mind and just wanted to get the hell to Sinnoh as fast as possible. Archie untied the boat and revved on the engine without another word.

Maxie went so far as to attempt to curl on his side on the bench in an attempt to get warm and possibly nap to pass the time. There wasn’t much room to let his mightyena out to help warm him, or else Archie was sure he’d be snuggling with the hound Pokemon by now. Archie was sure he’d heard a few moans of discomfort from the man, but Maxie continued to not speak save for the occasional query for an update on their location. He was sure Maxie was feeling seasick by now, knowing him, but luckily the ocean was fairly calm considering how torrential the weather had been during the day’s events. It was like Rayquaza was making the world especially calm to make up for the havoc.

Archie himself just steered the boat, though did take the occasional break to stretch or have a drink or take a piss off the side of the boat. He wasn’t sure what to bring up conversation-wise, and would much rather put off the things they should talk about. Small talk would end up feeling forced and uncomfortable for the both of them. He hummed to himself when he couldn’t stand being so silent for so long. Such a long trip, such a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, come on… Urgh, fuck.” Archie gave up on the motor and switched it off.

Maxie sat up. “It’s out of gas?” he asked needlessly.

“Yeah…” Archie pulled out his pokenav to see how much farther they had. He growled at how much farther. “Old girl just can’t push as far as she used to.” He scratched his head and stuffed his pokenav back in his pocket. “Would’ve had an hour or so left. Don’t think I can paddle that far. I’ll have to ask Buster to pull us.” He wasn’t happy about having his sharpedo tow them like some carriage horse, but they didn’t have much choice.

Maxie hummed empathetically; he’d hate to ask Camilla to tow a carriage in a similar situation on land. He had ridden on her back in the past, but she’d initiated it. He shifted in his seat and said, “I’m sure your sharpedo would have an easy time of it; he is quite strong.”

Archie glanced at him and crooked a smile at the Magma leader attempting to be nice. “Strongest damn sharpedo in Hoenn.”

Maxie made a show of dramatically rolling his eyes, but Archie saw the attempt at hiding a smile. He felt a familiar warmth bubbling in his chest, and quickly turned his attention to pulling out a pokeball and tossing it to release Buster into the ocean.

Buster was quite willing to pull them to land, considering the situation. Archie thanked him immensely and promised plenty of treats in the future. Once the sharpedo was securely attached to the front of the boat with some sturdy rope and pointed in the right direction, Archie was free to stretch out on a bench for the next hour or so.

He could understand why Maxie couldn’t sleep on the cramped, hard bench in the small fishing boat. There was always a sense that he was going to fall off if he leaned even slightly. Lying on his back was terribly uncomfortable, so that wasn’t an option. The bottom of the boat was too cold to lie on, so the bench across from the other man was his only choice. Lovely. He soon gave up trying to nap and settled for resting on his side, mirroring Maxie.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, they’d reached the coast of Sinnoh. Archie stepped out of the boat and pulled it as far as he could on the beach, just enough that it wouldn’t float away while they offloaded. He wasn’t sure what to do with the boat, but at least someone couldn’t track it back to him or Aqua if they found it, so he quickly decided they could abandon it.

As soon as the boat was well banked, Maxie tried to pull himself toward the front with his wobbly lack of sea-legs. “Oh god please let me off this thing,” he groaned, looking at Archie with pleading eyes.

Archie let out a little chuckle and held out his hand. “Here, just lean on me and swing yerself over the edge. I hope your boots are waterproof.” His own sneakers were quite good at keeping water from filling them, but he could still feel how cold the water was through them. They definitely weren’t in as tropical a climate as Hoenn anymore.

“Hrnnnng,” Maxie let out a nasally long grunt of annoyance, but he complied and practically leapt onto Archie with a yelp as soon as he hit the water. “It’s freezing!” He scrambled past the larger man and onto the sand and then turned to glare at the water as if it had attacked him on purpose. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself and bounced from foot to foot to try to generate some heat.

“This is what winter is like for other regions,” Archie said as he climbed back onto the boat to get their things. He was thankful, though almost disappointed at the lack of snow on the ground, just sparkling frost. He collected some supplies from storage nooks on the boat and packed them away into his and Maxie’s luggage, as well as a backpack he luckily found tucked away. “It’ll only get colder the farther north we go.” He had some sympathy in his announcement of the obvious, knowing how incredibly sensitive Maxie had always been to cold.

“And how much farther are we going exactly?” Maxie snapped, eyeing Archie’s bag as it was tossed from the boat onto the sand. He looked tempted to go digging in it for more layers of clothing. He was stiff from being stuck on a boat for almost six hours, and his thin frame drooped from fatigue.

“Not sure,” Archie admitted. “I was thinking we could head up to Shelter Town, near Snowpoint.” He braced himself for Maxie’s reaction.

“Snowpoint?!” Maxie stomped a couple steps toward the boat, still well away from the water. “How about no!” He stamped in place like an angry ponyta.

Archie sighed, not in the mood for an argument. “It’s not quite tourist season, so we could pretend we’re vacationing there early to beat the crowd.” He double-checked to make sure they had everything of use from the boat. “It’s the last place anyone would expect us to be, and it’s small and remote. Or would you rather they find us and arrest us for eco-terrorism?” He bared his sharpened teeth at Maxie as he growled his retort.

Maxie hrrrm’d as he considered this, slumping more. Archie hopped down from the boat with Maxie’s suitcase, careful not to get it wet, and walked to him with his head held high. The thin man looked up at him, the dark shadows under his eyes and in his gaunt cheeks even more pronounced in the moonlight. “There isn’t anywhere else we could go?”

“Everywhere else would be too populated. No one would think we’d go all the way up across Sinnoh when there’s plenty of warmer places we would go.” He placed Maxie’s suitcase down and put his hand on Maxie’s bony shoulder. “Just trust me, alright?” he said with gentle exasperation.

Maxie looked away, but let out a huffy breath. “Fine. So long as we don’t have to walk there.” He side-eyed Archie like daring him to say he was planning on having them walk there. “And we’re staying somewhere with heating,” he added quickly.

“Heh, deal. I’m sure there’s a train that’ll take us up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

The empty train was by far more comfortable than the boat had been. The two men passed out for the whole two hour ride, Archie with his head back on the rest and Maxie curled in a ball against him for warmth. They were too tired for anything else, only rousing when a helpful train attendant gently shook Archie’s shoulder to let them know this was the last stop.

They dragged themselves from the Snowpoint train station and called a cab to Shelter Town. Maxie ended up leaned into Archie once more, for warmth or comfort Archie wasn’t sure.

“Aaah, you two on honeymoon?” asked the cab driver with a toothy grin. “Shelter Town is a lovely place to have it.”

Archie grunted in agreement, since the driver seemed sincere enough and he was in no state to come up with a different story on the spot. He glanced down but Maxie didn’t seem to be paying much attention, preferring to doze comfortably against Archie’s shoulder. “We wanted somewhere quiet,” he rumbled loud enough for the driver to hear.

Maxie made a small grunt of protest at his pillow making noise, but nuzzled into his arm and settled again. Archie felt something in his chest tighten. The driver chuckled and thankfully shifted his focus back onto the road.

The cab pulled up in front of the hotel, waking Maxie and causing Archie to sigh in relief. It was a fairly high-quality little hotel, not extravagant by any means, but certainly deserving of being a popular vacation destination. They were lucky to have gotten to Shelter Town early enough in the season that there were certain to be plenty of rooms available, according to their cab driver.

“I have a friend I’d like to say hi to,” said the driver as explanation as he turned off the car. “Let me help you with your luggage.”

“Sure, much appreciated,” Archie replied with casual politeness. With Maxie’s stony expression and lack of saying anything, he might as well have been covered in signs saying “Leave me alone” in bright red letters. Archie had the cab driver roll in Maxie’s suitcase while Maxie took the backpack and Archie himself had his heavy duffel. The grumpy redhead kept his hands firmly in his pockets, clearly lamenting his lack of warm gloves.

The concierge popped up at the desk to greet them. They were very good at putting on a friendly customer service face. “Welcome to the Pine Nook! Oh, hey Barry!”

“How’s it going, Don? I was just bringing these folks here from the train station and thought I’d come in and say hi.” Barry the cabbie parked Maxie’s suitcase in front of the desk.

“How wonderful! Just let me get these two checked in and we should catch up!” The concierge clicked their computer mouse as Barry turned to Archie.

“Don’s the best concierge in Sinnoh; they’ll take good care of you. I’m going to step outside for a smoke,” he then said back to Don before nodding to them all and heading back outside.

Archie nodded back and then got to answering Don’s check-in questions. Archie took a deep breath and reminded himself he was prepared for this, and luckily so was Maxie.

“I’ll make this quick; I’m sure you both must be tired. Okay, may I please have your names and IDs?” Don began without looking up from the computer screen.

Archie and Maxie handed Don their fake identification cards. Each boss had gotten some made a while ago, just in case they needed them, and were quite surprised to find that the other had also had them made.

A few more basic questions and then finally they were almost finished.

“Our honeymoon suite is free, if you’re interested. It comes complete with a hot tub,” Don suggested with their eyebrows raised.

“Sure, sounds fine.” Archie figured Maxie would appreciate the hot tub, not that he was paying much attention to what Don was saying at this point. He was just working on autopilot this late at night after travelling so many hours. He didn’t notice Maxie looking at him strangely and going, “What.”

“Excellent. Here’s your key. I hope you two lovebirds enjoy your stay! Please call down if you need anything.” Don gave them an extra cheery customer service smile as the two dragged themselves toward the elevator.

“Why exactly did you tell them we’re a couple?” Maxie snapped under his breath as they drew out of earshot of the concierge.

“Huh? When did I do that?” Archie covered his mouth as he pulled in a deep yawn.

“Oh, never mind.” Maxie jammed his thumb into the button for the top floor and began grinding his teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“I hope you’re not assuming that I’ve magically forgiven you for everything and we’re going to just make up without talking about anything.” Maxie stared at Archie with his best annoyed expression and then looked back at the large bed, the only bed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Archie put his duffel onto a chair and wasted no time pulling his jacket and Henley off. He started on his jeans as Maxie huffed into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Aaah, bed. The clean sheets against his skin felt heavenly and he found himself rolling around in them before settling and letting his whole body relax. He hummed thoughtfully at the idea of a nice hot shower to ease the stiffness in his joints and muscles, but that would involve moving.

He was almost in a full doze when he heard a distant watery roar. It jolted him awake and he nearly flew right out of the bed, heart pounding and breath coming in harsh gasps. He clawed against the covers, searching for pokeballs that were sitting safely on the dresser across the room, but stopped when he realized he was in unfamiliar but dry surroundings. Oh, right, of course, the hotel. It flooded back to him, and he sat still for a moment to let his brain identify the roar: the shower. Of course it’s just the shower.

Archie flopped back against the pillow with a deep sigh, taking steady breaths to try to calm his pounding heartbeat. There was no way he could fall asleep until he’d calmed down, and probably not until Maxie had settled for the night. He wished he could go out and look at the stars to relax himself, like he sometimes did when he couldn’t sleep at home, but he didn’t want to risk looking suspicious. He sighed again and stared at the ceiling instead.

Some time later, Archie couldn’t tell, the shower shut off. Some shuffling, some rustling, the sound of Maxie’s electric toothbrush, some more rustling, and finally the door opened. Archie didn’t mean to pay too much attention to the sounds of Maxie going about his routine, but there wasn’t anything else to hear. It was comforting, at least, having someone else around. He tried not to think about what it would’ve been like doing this on his own. Maybe it would’ve been easier. He could’ve just taken a larger boat and gone out on the ocean, fished for food, found an island somewhere and lived off the nature like his dad had taught him to do so long ago. What would Maxie have done, then? Probably been arrested.

Maxie exited the bathroom wearing soft pajama pants (his favorite pair, covered in a cute numel pattern, Archie was tickled to notice), a gray tank top, and one of the complementary white fluffy bathrobes provided by the hotel. He had his hair wrapped up in a towel and a sour expression on his face. “I’m still not sure I got the smell of ocean muck off.”

Yep, definitely arrested.

“I’m sure you smell fine,” Archie mumbled in reply, deciding he’d rather not feel the tickle of awkwardness silence would have caused.

“Well, I suppose you wouldn’t care, since you tend to smell worse than a bucket of rotten feebass.”

Ouch. Even for Maxie, that was pretty harsh.

“’least I don't roll in dirt all day; you smell like sulfur each time I see you, I swear t’ god." 

"My base is a high-tech arrangement of rerouted magma and volcanic rock and you have no right to insult the smell when you guys live in a salty damp cave."

“A salty damp-! Argh why am I even fighting about this with you.” A chorus of “Whatever whatever whatever” drummed in Archie’s mind, keeping him from trying to process all the shit of the day. He rolled onto his side facing away from Maxie, muscles tensing from anger.

“Hmph.” Maxie went back to whatever he was doing.

Archie could easily imagine that sharp little nose sticking in the air as he did it. He wanted to punch him, felt heat bubbling up with the violent urge. Being pissed at Maxie was easier than dealing with his own guilt, that was for sure, so he lay there and seethed about the irritating, pompous, bratty little…

“Archie!” Oh, Maxie was calling him.

“What?!” he snapped, turning his head with his teeth bared.

“Your moronic cover story led us to having to share one bed,” Maxie said like he was reprimanding a particularly stupid grunt.

“If you don’t like the way I’ve led our escape, you’re free to leave anytime,” Archie growled, turning to face him again. All he’d done, and this was the thanks he got. “We both know you’re too much of a puny ice queen to resist crawling into bed with me anyways.” He grinned meanly. “Figured I’d save us the money.”

“Don’t you call me an ice queen you slimy stupid pirate!” Maxie didn’t seem to have much more of a retort than that, however. He had certainly accepted that he and Archie were stuck together for the time being. “Whatever. I’m tired and dealing with you isn’t helping my headache.”

He stormed back into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Archie sighed and watched as Maxie pulled the towel from his head and shook out his damp hair. They wouldn’t speak for the rest of the night, that was for sure. It would be a miracle if they got any sleep at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Archie peeked out through the thick curtains, reminding himself he wasn’t just being paranoid. All was quiet, the sun only just casting a beautiful warmth over the mountain snow. Did the concierge or the cab driver hear about what happened at Hoenn? Did they recognize their description and call the authorities? He sighed, having been avoiding checking the news, but knew he had no choice. He glanced over at the door to make sure the deadbolt was locked before pulling out his pokenav and opening the buzznav application.

“-on Hoenn by the two legendary pokemon has left hundreds people displaced from their homes. Mr. Stone of Devon Corporation has already made a large contribution to the relief effort he and his company have established. More information on where, how, and what you can donate can be found on the Devon Corp. website. As for the leaders of Team Magma and Team Aqua, authorities are asking that anyone in Hoenn or the surrounding areas please keep an eye out for any suspicious characters matching their descriptions. Be warned that they are very, very dangerous. Do not engage the criminals, and be sure to call the police right a-”

Archie closed the app and dully looked over at the sleeping Maxie. If anyone had reported them, the news wouldn’t announce it until they were locked up. At least the photos they showed weren’t great quality, so as long as they kept their more prominent features hidden they should be fairly safe. He stroked his beard thoughtfully.

A while later, he was walking out of the bathroom with a towel draped around his neck. Maxie was sitting up and rubbing his eyes. As expected, when the redhead looked up, his whole body jolted and his eyes widened with shock.

“What on earth did you do to your beard?!” he asked in appalled wonder.

“Yeah yeah, yuck it up. Your hair’s next.” Archie felt at the smooth, tender skin of his jaw. He hadn’t been clean-shaven since… Honestly, he was pretty sure he hadn’t been clean-shaven since puberty. It would take a lot of getting used to, but he was certain he was unrecognizable now, if his own shock when he caught sight of himself in the mirror was anything to go by.

Maxie immediately put his hands protectively on his head and all but hissed, “If you try to touch my hair, I will take the scissors and jam them straight into-”

“Maxie, we are hiding out. Hiding out involves changing your appearance so that no one will recognize you. You stand out like a beacon with that hair.” Archie rubbed his head with the towel before tossing it into the bathroom.

“That’s what hats are for!”

“You can’t wear a hat in every setting.”

“Then I’ll wear a scarf.”

“You’d look silly.” Archie dug into his bag for a clean shirt.

“Then I’ll just stay here in the room!” Maxie crossed his arms stubbornly.

“We’re supposed to be on our honeymoon. It would look pretty suspicious if you never left the room.”

“It wasn’t my ridiculous idea to say we’re on our honeymoon!” the redhead spat. His eyebrows were starting to furrow, eyes becoming pleading. “There has to be another way besides completely ruining my hair.”

Archie sighed and considered for a moment. “Well, I think there’s hair dye that isn’t completely permanent,” he suggested. He tried to remember how long that stuff was supposed to last.

Maxie relaxed his shoulders a bit. “Yes, I suppose that would be acceptable. So long as it’s not permanent, right?” he asked nervously.

Something heavy seemed to hang in the air. Not permanent. Temporary. Just for a while. A notion snuck into Archie’s brain, and he suspected it had crossed Maxie’s as well. How long should they expect to be hiding out? Weeks? Months? Years? They could only pull off the honeymoon thing at this hotel for a few weeks at most, certainly less than a month. Then where should they go?

“I’ll, uh, go to the store, then. Figure I should grab us some more supplies, get some information about the area.” Archie pulled on his shirt and grabbed his boots.

Maxie gave him a hum in reply and then went into the bathroom, thus ending any further conversation. There was still tension in the air, but it was as if it were lying dormant for the time being. Archie was almost relieved, almost. He put on his boots and coat and left the hotel, waving at the morning receptionist as he went by.

Shelter Town reminded Archie more of a large college campus than a town. The buildings were all fairly tall with red roofs. It was certainly a small offshoot of Snowpoint, perhaps built to take advantage of the beautiful scenery to draw in tourists. Having tourists only come up this north to see the Snowpoint Temple would be a waste of potential, Archie supposed. Come see the temple, stay in the scenic nearby towns for a magical winter getaway. Heh, maybe if they got stuck up here, they could open a hotel.

He walked through the snow and found a store easily enough. He stared at the boxes of hair dye taking up an entire rack. Most were permanent, some came out after three washes, and luckily he found others that supposedly lasted for about ten washes at most. He grabbed two boxes of a darkish brown and tossed them into his basket.

Archie mostly wandered the aisles for a bit, grabbing a few snacks and drinks. This early in the morning, the place was empty save for a tired cashier, so he felt he could take his time. It was nice to get away and do something almost normal. He hadn’t even really gone shopping for himself in a while; mostly his teammates did all the shopping while he oversaw more important matters. Well, they had seemed important at the time.

Archie sighed when he’d walked around the place twice more without adding anything to the basket. He relented, paid with cash, and headed back to the hotel with his purchases. He grabbed them some breakfast along the way from a small bakery, not in the mood to deal with going down to the hotel’s complimentary breakfast.

Maxie was sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard when Archie got back to the room. He had put on his sweater, the bathrobe, probably some extra socks, and had wrapped all the blankets around himself like he was building a nest. Archie kicked his boots off and then put Maxie’s bagel, already sliced and toasted for them by the bakery cashier, on the nightstand (Archie had eaten his own on the way). Maxie sniffed interestedly in its direction and decided that food was worth moving from the middle of his blanket nest.

“Thank you,” he said with reserved politeness as he picked out a bagel. Archie had remembered his favorite, a cinnamon raisin bagel with a little packet of plain cream cheese. He used the plastic knife to spread some on while Archie put the drinks he’d bought into the mini fridge.

Maxie didn’t eat it right away. There was almost a meek air to him, if he were anyone but the “Great” Maxie. Finally, he put the bagel down and sighed, looking up at Archie with a determined set of his jaw.

“I… appreciate all you’ve been doing. You’ve been handling this situation better than I could have… expected.” Maxie couldn’t keep eye contact, but tried valiantly. His voice didn’t even shake all that much. Archie was almost impressed.

“You’re welcome.” The larger man took pity on him and replied before he had to say anything mortifying like “Thank you” or “I’m sorry.” Archie would have loved to hear either, but didn’t count on it. It did mean a lot that he was trying, at least. He turned his attention back to putting away the snacks.

Maxie nibbled on his bagel and turned the television on, flipping through channels without seeming to actually be looking for anything. He found some old, outdated documentary about electric mice pokemon and leaned back to let it occupy his attention. He ignored when Archie pointedly put the boxes of hair dye on the nightstand.

Archie didn’t move, and Maxie finally side-eyed him narrowly. He glanced at the hair dye and his lip curled in disgust. “If I do this, then I don’t want to hear a single word from you about it from this day until my last.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Archie shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

The other glared him down. Of course Maxie would make this difficult, but Archie did feel for him. Shaving his signature beard off had taken almost an hour of dawdling in the bathroom and psyching himself up until he finally took the scissor and went for it. At least it wouldn’t take as long for Maxie’s hair to get back to normal as it would probably take for Archie to grow that beard back. He was a hairy guy, sure, but it would still not be the same.

Maxie picked up the offending box as if it could explode any minute. He took his time reading and re-reading the instructions. Ten washes. A little over a week of washing his hair every day. Did shampooing his hair twice in one shower count as two washes or one? He would have to be careful and wash his hair less, which he supposed he could handle if it meant staying out of prison. Yes, he just needed to steel himself and remember why he was making these sacrifices.

“I’ll be in the bathroom. I am not to be disturbed,” he finally ground out as he extracted himself fully from his blanket nest, clutching the bathrobe around himself with his free hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxie is a big prissy baby. Welcome to Archie's babysitters' club.

Maxie had to continuously remind himself that Archie already shaved his beard off and he would look like a coward if he didn’t go through with this as well. Yes, if Archie could handle it, so could he! Newly invigorated, Maxie ripped open the box of dye and started pulling out the contents. The instructions were simple enough, the cheap gloves protected his hands, and his scalp felt cold and itchy for the forty minutes he was expected to sit there while what looked like brown shoe polish stained his radiant hair. He huffed and groaned and scrolled through various news sites on his nav while he waited for the timer to go off.

“Looking at me like that when he spent years wearing a stupid bandana, as if I couldn’t just wear a stupid bandana too…” He quickly scrolled past photos of their faces, particularly Archie’s stupid face with his stupid shark teeth grin. How was he going to hide the shark teeth, huh?! “Maybe we should get him plastic vampire teeth and say he’s a cosplayer, nyeh heh.” Yes, between the two of them, at least Archie would end up looking more stupid in his “disguise.” Even if he did have a strong a jaw as Maxie had expected…

Now what happened to his admins? Courtney was supposed to contact him as soon as soon as she and Tabitha had found their own safe hideaways. He calculated that the news would announce if the police had arrested such important members of his team, so supposed she just didn’t feel it was safe to get in touch with him just yet. He refreshed the front page of the news app again, but nothing had changed.

Ugh, hiding out was going to be the death of him. His research, his entire mission in life, was lost and there he was just waiting in boredom for the fallout to pass by. He couldn’t sit around and do nothing, but what else could he do? Whatever he thought of, he’d have to start from scratch. All his resources, Magma’s money and equipment minus his own private stash, his underlings, gone.

Maxie felt a shudder run through his body. No, the Great Maxie should never give in to melancholy. He paced the small bathroom, trying to keep his superior mind focused. The bathrobe swept behind him, hitting the wall with every sharp turn. Magma was nothing without him, but he was not nothing without Magma! Magma was his project, but merely that, a project. The project may have failed, but he still had his intellect, his ideas, his drive. This was merely a setback. Once he was no longer in danger, he would start anew and make the world better for all humanity!

“Are you masturbating in there or something? I hear a lot of grunting.”

There was a split second of silence before the door flew open in the explosive blast of Maxie’s anger.

“HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU DISGUSTING SWINE!” Maxie’s sharp fingers clawed into Archie’s shirt, red face close enough to Archie’s that he could feel the heat coming off him. “Your foul mind disgusts me almost as much as your rancid breath!” He made a face and pulled away a bit to emphasize.

Archie rolled his eyes. He’d only been momentarily startled by the outburst, it having been so long since he’d come face to face with one. “Geez, Maxie, I was only joking.”

“Do you _really_ think that I'm in any mood for your childish jokes?! I said I was not to be disturbed, and you can't even follow that one _simple_ request because you are nothing more than a stupid, moronic-!”

“That's enough!” Archie snarled, hands shooting up to grab Maxie roughly by the shoulders. “Pompous asshole! You’re not the only one having a hard time right now! All I do is try to lighten the damn mood, and you go at me like I stabbed Camilla!”

“Don't you dare bring her into this!” Maxie snapped.

Archie threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine, whatever. I’m tired of arguing about it. Just go back to your hair stuff.”

Maxie didn’t even reply, just stepped back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, almost as loudly as he’d opened it.

Archie let out a loud groan, trying to release some tension. Now they were bickering over nothing. It was all so pointless. Though, nothing could top how pointless the mess they made turned out to be. They did the unthinkable and awakened two legendary pokemon, practically gods in the eyes of their homeland of Hoenn, but then all it took was a determined child awakening an even _more_ powerful god to end it all within seconds. Groudon and Kyogre’s battle cries shook the surrounding islands, but Rayquaza’s mighty roar shook the entire continent at the very least.

He shuddered at the memory as he stalked back over to the bed and sat down on Maxie’s blanket nest. It didn’t matter how meaningless their transgression had been to the noble Rayquaza and the world of pokemon. So long as the people of Hoenn wanted their hides, they couldn’t simply go back to the way things were before they’d split. They’d both scoffed at how Giovanni hadn’t seemed to care when they’d left Team Rocket. He and Maxie had thought they were important in the grand scheme of things, eventually even more important than their relationship. In their hubris they lost everything, themselves, and each other.

 

*******

Ugh, it was terrible. Made him look paler, made him look older. Maxie gathered his poor hair and tied it up into a ponytail, not wanting to chance himself accidentally seeing it if it got into his face. That done, he looked away, jaw set in determination, and faced the bathroom door. He went to adjust his glasses, but of course he couldn’t wear his signature megastone pair without fairly high risk of recognition. His spine unyielding as his temper, he strode forward and emerged, prepared for anything.

Archie glanced up at him and then looked back at the mindless action movie he’d put on. He lay stretched out on the bed in boxers and a tank top, casually picking at a spot on his thigh. It was still weird to see him sans beard and Maxie felt a bit pleased at how miserable it must have been making him. The large man remained silent, however, not in the habit of stretching out his lamentations for things he couldn’t solve.

“So, all this trouble to disguise ourselves just to sit around in the hotel room? I should have seen this coming.” To spite the pirate, Maxie sat primly on the edge of the bed and began pulling on his boots. “I am going to spend my time more wisely and see what kind of town you’ve landed us in.” He wasn’t sure why he was trying to prod at Archie with such weak bait, as this entire trip had consisted of himself lying around while Archie did all the grunt work, but he was disappointed when he didn’t take it anyways. Maxie wondered if he was trying to nudge his counterpart into coming with him, and was loathe to admit he would rather have him come along.

Archie continued not moving, so Maxie stared at him until brown eyes slid to meet his own. A bushy black eyebrow quirked up, two haughty red rose in reply.

“Do you really plan on sitting on your ass for the rest of the day?”

The corners of Archie’s eyes crinkled in amusement, the jerk. “Pretty sure I deserve it, bro.”

“Don’t you ‘bro’ me,” Maxie automatically snapped back. It was getting difficult coming up with an excuse for him to come with that kept his pride intact. “It merely seems out of character, especially as it’s not even noon yet.”

“You know me, full of surprises,” Archie quipped as he leaned back, putting his hands behind his head, the epitome of masculine carelessness. Maxie sneered, wanting to stab him in those stupid perfect abs.

“Just come into town with me.”

“Yeah? Why?” Archie was outright smirking and it was all the seething former-Magma leader could do not to pounce on him via fists to the face.

“Because I told you to.”

“And why is that?” Great, the shit-eating grin just got broader as Archie knew he’d backed the other into a corner. He was the only one in the world who would ever do something so dangerous, and Maxie’s blood boiled. Archie leaned forward, almost leering at the ball of barely-contained rage as Maxie finally let loose the least-embarrassing reason he wanted this stupid pirate to accompany him outside the hotel.

“BECAUSE I CAN’T READ THE FUCKING SIGNS.” Maxie blinked and quickly set himself to rights, clearing his throat diplomatically and adjusting his seat on the bed. “Ahem, without my glasses,” he added.


End file.
